29 March 2013 @ 11:28 pm
How long is this pain going to last? Will I continue to be surprised by the loss of Nelly over and over and over again until I die? It's been over two years, and while I believe there is no set time limit on grief, I was hoping I wouldn't be sobbing over her because I heard a song that reminds me of her (and just about every song from before 2011 reminds me of her [thank god I don't start sobbing with every one of them]). She was such a big part of my life and I miss her so fucking much. We were growing apart a bit but that didn't change the way we loved each other. I want her back. It's so hard without her. There's so much I want to say to her, to tell her. So many movies I want to go see with  (and most likely disagree about haha). So much we were going to do. All gone now. There is a massive empty space in my life. She was so full of love and energy and just ...Nelly.

I'm okay, guys. I just needed to let it out a lil bit. So don't worry, okay? :)
Current Mood: nostalgic
06 May 2011 @ 01:19 am
I haven't updated in a really long time. I'm sorry guys. This year has been awful. Losing my best friend to a car accident, a tragic freak accident where no one is at fault, has fucked me up completely.

I know our natural instinct is to want to not flaunt our happiness in front of the depressed, as if doing so would be an insult to them, but I am asking you guys to help me remember that good things do happen. I'm having a bit of a hard time keeping that in mind. So, please don't silence your happiness because of my sadness.

I'm trying to get back in the swing of things...so...here have Johnny Weir without any pants on :)

Current Mood: determined